smh [in drafts]

 


v1

Got this idea in my head … stayed more than a week

Mentioned before about breaking up with the internet

Has evolved into breaking from parts of the internet

Aiming for peaceful co-existence with internet

AND

See the edges of harmonized me [actual + digital]

Understand scope of data collected from me

Reverse my path of omnipresence … I am only where I am …

If I’m not there, neither is my data … true inbox zero

Footprint or tattoo either way I want delete control

Reposition my digiself to be in service to my actual

Still have all benefits of connectivity

I want complete digital agency and ownership

Create a How to / How did manual … sort of

Explore implications – social, emotional, professional, relational, creative …

Weigh Costs -actual, future, hidden

Reveal / deal – assumptions, bias, inequity

Identify and imagine build [rebuild?] the benefits

Actualize ‘On the grid’ autonomy, not hacked or dark web

Reconfig / evolve mindset, mindfulness, mine

Focus / activate my ‘why’?

Share on my terms


v2

got this idea in my head.
and its been fed
with fears.
and appears to be
getting fatter.

No matter.
its space is traced
with gilded
lace

itsUnotME

geez

this bytes

that stuff I shared
with you,
with fine printed
promise
of safe care,
what happened?

time
and time
again
I find bits of me

everywhere.

a favourite restaurant
a song
a selfie
a video
a mention
a like,
so-so small
pieces
of
me
scattered.

all found,
in places-
now out of place
from where they should be.
surprises abound
in
the
sidebar –
howd FB know my
shoe size?
that was shared
with IG…

time for us
both
to
grow up,
move out,
move on.

cause

snaps
of
me, are
falling from
my identity
like leaves
after colours change
as
something you wanted,
not now though.
more
like
some things
you
flaunted.

I know, I know
I signed up for this
and really,
you bring up
the fine print
once in
awhile
like I should
be okay
to sign on again
to
these terms
of
agreement.

but
what you
never
got
is that

its the forgetting
that hurts,
the secret words
the sacred spaces
the special moments

me and you
you and me
bound
by posted
memories
those still in my
head
are mine
and real
right?
I can leave
with
them
right?

prob not
without
fight

though.

post-post-memories
are just pieces
disconnected
disorganized
dis post portionate
to
my profile
and
my
portfolio.

next time,
next time
it will be
different
I will
share with care
maybe be a
server for
myself
and
instead of
just taking
everything
for granted
I will grant
only
with care.

you know

breaking up like this
is easy,
finding
all
of my pieces,

not so much.

[if ya missed it, see part one – itsMEnotU]

itsMEnotU

Internet

I need some ‘me‘ time.

Some time to figure things out.

You know, find myself.

Truth is we are too connected.
Codependent.
Constantly.
Co-infected.

And its not really possible
to avoid you,
completely,
though I have tried.
discreetly.

So,
I’m stepping up
my game.

think of this as
a digi-restraining order –
please don’t loiter.
While I keep my space,
you back off a bit.

Its tough though.
Everwhere I go, there you are.
At work, on the street, on TV,
in my car.
My friends and family don’t get it.
And because they spend so much time
hanging with you,
its upsetting.
‘Cause
I feel pushed out.

They think everything is all good.
But I’m not feeling it anymore.
I’m so walking out that door
and nevermore
landing on this shore.

When we spend time together
its like you are somewhere else.
you are something else.
altogether.

You seem

distracted.

Thinking about other things.

Sending me mixed messages
about my habits,
and shopping,
and my friends.

Constantly ammended
reminders
that all you are interested in
is stuff.

Materialistic moments
wrapped in
likes and thumbs up.

Most of it seems
like it is
for someone like me.

Did you really ever like me?

[cont’d part twoitsUnotMe]