wake up

So I wake up, suddenly, thinking that I gotta write something.

This has happened to me before- sleep crashes headlong into an idea and I spring out of bed. Thoughts are bouncing around and it takes me a few minutes to focus on what idea snapped me out of slumber.

I make coffee, let the dog out for a pee, splash some water on my face and the idea crystallizes… I gotta get back to my blog.

Over the summer me and blog had some pretty productive moments- but very few since the start of the school year. Not sure how that could be. Over the summer I had piles and piles of reflective material to draw from and no real school work to do, then September hit and the well dried up.

The start up for this school year has been pretty challenging. Professionally, both my wife and I are firing on all cylinders, her more than me, and both of our teaching portfolios are demanding. My kids are busy- just busy even if they are not busy, so the last 60 days really have evaporated. Yet I wake up this morning feeling like I gotta write something, create something, see my thinking outside my head.

So I do.

I have been thinking a lot about forgetting and the process of forgetting and why we forget things. Initially, I started this blog with an ego centred fictional belief that my thoughts could be interesting to others. I shifted easily from that frame into ‘should’ be interested because I received a few followers. Now, I think that I am starting to think differently. None of my subscribers sent me a note mid-September inquiring about my next post, my calendar notifications did not chirp incessantly ‘blog, blog, blog’, heck until this morning I could have easily admitted that I had forgotten about blog altogether.

I realized, as I watched the coffee drip, drip, drip into my mug that when I am busy doing, thinking gets benched, reflection disconnect from experience and arrives pretty late to the party. Over the summer, I had very little doing apart from life stuff- the good stuff. The ease of summer living relaxed the bindings on the work stuff, it all flooded back and found a reservoir in my blog.

September to July is chock full with doing. Thinking is squeezed into micro cracks while doing life stuff. Capturing mindful moments in the wild in their natural spaces is best, but incredibly difficult. The value of in the moment creative posts is not lost on me, but I gotta find a different way to track my doing and thinking.

This entry is definitely an outburst. I have a few other things that I want to work on this morning- all school related… so I will have to get back to these thoughts another time.

Good thing I wrote them down.