loss

the broken heart of an optimist

fights to stay open
without bearing closed fists
relies on disagreement
about whether holding back is best
notices that it hasn't noticed in a long while
launches into song, smiles,
and sings long after the song ends
and ends long after
their longing heart mends. 
but and even as it lays shattered 
after defeats
it glows up, shows up, and makes sure 
every piece beats.

canal

Built by hands
for the military. 

An element weaponized. 

The ultimate
measure of mansplaining

the needs of a
country. 

I can’t connect
with 
a national mindset
espousing 
ways forward
framed by warfare. 

Or fear of warfare. 

So I can wonder. 

And travel around
a bit 

and

notice

often,

means 
that speak
in a 
different tongue

than the ends. 

Destiny 
defined
by destinations. 

Locks 
that can 
only be picked
from the
inside

are similar
to

a pyramid scheme 
maybe.

A force-feeding
for the capital

while

the builders suffer
sickness,

and employee turnover
could be
measured by
death-

five people
per
kilometer. 

One thousand
all totalled. 

Four to ten
thousand laboured. 

Many were immigrants,

the accounting
is shaky. 

Memorial markers 
honour 
the humanhands 
that toiled, 
that were crushed,
that were exploded,
that ailed. 

Notwithstanding clauses 
lionize
innovation,
determination,
toil.

halifax

An impossible mayday reached an unfreezable harbour late one night from across the sea. 

“Practically unsinkable” made this reality unthinkable so other captains ignored their plea.

Oh Canada, from far and wide, would stand on guard for them as well as thee. 

The implausible rescue from 700 miles away sadly turned into recovery. 

337 found, 119 left at sea, 150 of 1500 now rest ashore safely in Fairview Lawn, Mount Olivet, and Baron de Hirsch cemeteries.

stars

[for b.h.]

I spend some nights
stargazing. Maybe 
star searching is
a better term for
it actually. My eyes 
hopscotch and slide 
between points of light
and patches of dark. 
I imagine the minds
that played with the 
constellations, connecting
the sparks, conjuring
bears and lions
and tigers
on the inky
canvas of night. 
Effigies to calm
and protect. 
Familiars to
guard and worship. 
I suspect they needed
reassurance too. 
Who doesn’t need light?
This happens
mostly after open
ended moments. 
What the hell
just happened
moments. 
What was it you
once told me
moments. 
Dark moments of
night. 
And standing
out under the stars
scrying my future,
finding proof,
and accepting the truth,
that reading messages from
messengers millions
of miles away,
somehow makes
me feel that much
closer to
you.

2015

and the appetizers were ordered 

then the phone rang 

and she saw me crying

then the empty seats were vacated without warning

and the drive back to the hospital was fragile and silent

then I was both passenger and driver for 13 minutes 7 kilometres

and the parking lot was empty

then memories began flooding back in 

and the halls slid past me in cautious waves

then my mom was huddled near the floor

and my sister said he’s gone

then my spouse anchored her hand between my shoulder blades

and 

then

and

then

and

. . .