i am brushing my teeth then climbing a tree then making a list then nervously flying away- wait, so, i hate flying because, well falling and flailing sometimes follows. that is to say i keep reaching into near distances to lift a curtain behind which i find instances of myself looking back at me holding the same diaphanous fabric delicately beholding the same stage and audience ironically. its more than curiosity that keeps me pulling at threads of reality. its always the last time, near the last line, where i accept, ‘okay fine’ that all i am sits here in this room dreaming wandering avoiding the gloom and escaping tasks that are launching me, out of me just to see if i should be doing anything other than brushing my teeth.
A few years ago my dad helped me with a piece for my sister. Shannon was slowly transitioning out of a business venture that she had built from the ground up.
I had tried to imagine what the process of leaving would be like.
He made suggestions, I ignored them.
I tried other words, couldn’t make them work and went back to his suggestions.
This is the only piece we ever co-wrote and I am proud to share it here.
time there was no clock here minutes passed to hours moments became ours where yours and mine released into us. we, made light fill our minds moved through space and time and found sacred spaces secret places hiding in plain view. all the while in this we, made long lines of life and limb reaching to imagined skies fingertips blazing in animal pantomimes. we offered our best and worst to our adopted spirits. drawing fingers opened wide reaching for that hanging sweet breath. and breathe we did. finding harmony within us and between us where namaste waited for us to accept the offering that felt so new and yet so familiar. flowing greeted and grateful head bowed down in awe in honour heels planted like oak roots and ass to the sky. this is a strange salute to the universe but damn it feels good. now we accept we are fractured and fictional and factioned yet we find focus in the breathing. on this emotion and the breathing. on that sick relative, struggling, breathing. on that random guy over there...breathing. my gods, what time is it? a prescient metaphor but cruelly imprecise. I know what time it is. we know the time has come. so, we leave in slow motion, caught in the gravity of memory. and we, keep breathing as the door opens and light speed life taunts us disses us and offers this, there is no clock here. wonder expands and expects a willing child to follow, so we do... ...because we are wonder full.
Thank you, everyone single one of you for being here with us today.
Throughout this evening and the last few days, I have found myself many times both thankful and humbled by the love, compassion, and grace of our community.
Your presence with me, my sister, and my mom is overwhelming and appreciated tremendously. And I thank you all for being a part of our family.